A Very British Guide to Keeping Your Pooch Out of Trouble

Dogs are magnificent creatures. Loyal, affectionate, endlessly optimistic — and apparently convinced that absolutely everything in your kitchen belongs to them.

Drop a carrot? Your dog is there.

Open a packet of biscuits? Suddenly you have a new best friend.

Leave a roast dinner unattended for twelve seconds? Congratulations: you now own an empty plate and a dog displaying absolutely no remorse.

Unfortunately, while dogs may consider themselves highly qualified food critics, there are several human foods they really shouldn't eat. Some can cause an upset stomach, while others can be genuinely dangerous.

So, before you surrender another morsel to those enormous pleading eyes, here are some foods that should remain firmly on the human side of the dinner table.

Chocolate

We might regard chocolate as an essential food group, particularly after a difficult Monday, but dogs definitely shouldn't share our enthusiasm.

Chocolate contains theobromine, a substance dogs metabolise much more slowly than humans. Eating enough can cause vomiting, diarrhoea, restlessness, abnormal heart rhythms, tremors and seizures. Severe poisoning can be life-threatening.

Dark chocolate and baking chocolate generally contain considerably more theobromine than milk chocolate, but no chocolate should be deliberately given to a dog.

In short: your Dairy Milk is yours. For once, refusing to share is an act of kindness.

Grapes and Raisins

Grapes look harmless. Raisins look even more harmless — they're essentially tiny, wrinkled grapes minding their own business.

Unfortunately, both can be dangerous to dogs and have been associated with acute kidney injury. The amount that causes poisoning can vary considerably, which means there isn't a reliably safe quantity to offer your dog.

Remember that raisins can also turn up in cakes, biscuits, fruit bread, mince pies and other baked goods.

So when Christmas arrives, your dog doesn't get a mince pie. You'll simply have to make the heroic sacrifice and eat it yourself.

Onions, Garlic, Leeks and Chives

Members of the Allium family — including onions, garlic, leeks and chives — can damage dogs' red blood cells and potentially cause anaemia.

They can be problematic whether they're raw, cooked, dried or powdered, so don't assume that an onion becomes dog-friendly simply because you've put it in a casserole.

This also means checking ingredients in foods such as gravies, sauces, soups and ready meals before sharing leftovers.

Your dog may regard your Sunday roast as communal property. Veterinary science disagrees.

Xylitol

Xylitol is a sweetener that may be found in products such as sugar-free chewing gum, sweets, baked goods and some other foods and dental products.

In dogs, xylitol can trigger a rapid release of insulin, causing dangerously low blood sugar. Larger exposures can also cause severe liver injury.

This is one where checking labels matters. If a product contains xylitol, keep it securely away from your dog.

And if your dog gets hold of something containing it, don't wait for symptoms to appear before seeking veterinary advice.

Alcohol

It should go without saying that your Labrador doesn't need a lager.

Alcohol can cause serious poisoning in dogs, potentially resulting in vomiting, poor coordination, breathing problems, coma and other dangerous effects.

Alcohol isn't limited to drinks, either. Fermenting bread dough and certain foods or desserts containing alcohol can also present a risk.

Your dog is perfectly capable of embarrassing you at a family gathering while completely sober.

Macadamia Nuts

Macadamia nuts can cause poisoning in dogs, with signs including weakness, vomiting, tremors and difficulty walking.

Exactly why dogs react to them isn't completely understood, but that's hardly a reason to conduct your own kitchen-based clinical trial.

Keep the macadamias for yourself and offer your dog an appropriate canine treat instead.

Raw Bread Dough Containing Yeast

Raw yeast dough presents two problems.

First, it can continue expanding inside a dog's stomach, potentially causing dangerous bloating. Second, fermenting yeast produces ethanol — meaning the dog can also suffer alcohol poisoning.

So if you're making bread and your dog is sitting beside you looking like a contestant on The Great British Bake Off, don't give them any dough.

They haven't earned a handshake.

Caffeine

Coffee, tea, energy drinks, caffeine tablets and other highly caffeinated products should be kept away from dogs.

Caffeine is a stimulant, and significant amounts can cause restlessness, a rapid heartbeat, tremors, seizures and other serious symptoms.

Your dog already wakes up at 6:17 a.m. because a pigeon moved three streets away. They do not require an espresso.

Cooked Bones

Bones deserve a special mention because many people naturally associate them with dogs.

Cooked bones can splinter, potentially causing choking, injuries to the mouth or digestive tract, or intestinal obstruction. Bones and very fatty table scraps can create other problems too.

If you'd like your dog to chew something, choose a product specifically intended for dogs and appropriate for their size and chewing habits.

What About Avocado?

Avocado deserves a little nuance.

It contains persin, and the stone presents an obvious choking or obstruction hazard. The flesh itself is generally less concerning to dogs than some of the foods above, but it's high in fat and isn't something your dog needs.

So your avocado toast doesn't need to become avocado-and-spaniel toast.

"But My Dog Ate It Before and Was Fine"

This is the sentence dogs would presumably have printed on their family crest.

A previous incident without obvious symptoms doesn't establish that a food is safe. Toxicity can depend on the substance, quantity eaten, dog's body weight and individual circumstances.

If your dog has eaten something potentially toxic, contact your vet or an emergency veterinary service promptly. Tell them what was eaten, approximately how much, when it happened and your dog's approximate weight.

Don't induce vomiting or try a home remedy unless a veterinary professional specifically tells you to do so.

The Bottom Line

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